The UK Affiliate Marketing Industry Jumps on Board the Dixie Queen

The Dixie Queen boat is so big that Tower Bridge has to be raised as it chugs along the Thames in London. Click to see full-size version of picture

There was a joke going around that if the boat on which the annual A4U gathering was to sink the entire affiliate marketing industry in the UK would be wiped out. It was not so much of an exaggeration because anybody who was anybody in the arena was onboard the Dixie Queen a few weeks ago. Azam Marketing joined the party.

Once a year people involved in UK affiliate marketing manage to tear themselves away from their Internet Explorers, Outlooks and Dreamweavers, kiss their computers goodbye and converge on the British capital for the get2gether organised by the Affiliates4U forum.

This year’s event was held onboard the The Dixie Queen. Built before the second world war, the Captain told Azam Marketing she was originally a car ferry, but was converted into a party boat. $10m was spent converting it into a luxurious replica of a 19th century Mississippi Paddleboat. Until recently she was Stockholm's favorite cruising Night Club and the haunt of the younger members of the Royal Family. Now she is Britain’s largest entertainment and conference boat.

It was an impressive sight to see 478 people queuing to climb on board the Dixie Queen on an unusually bright and sunny autumnal morning. Old Attendees boarding the Dixie Queen party boat. Click to see full-size picture timers noted how, a few years previously, equivalent events would struggle to attract two score and ten attendees.

With the industry having rapidly corporatised in the last few years, much of the motley crew of affiliates who were used to the more laid back style of gatherings of yesteryear began to engage in their favorite recently-developed sport.

Called DTSSR (Dodge The Smart-Arsed Sales Rep.) it involves trying to eat, drink and be merry with friends while using the skills usually asked of an NFL Gridiron player to avoid new overly-enthusiastic salespeople, often working for agencies.

These people are oblivious to the fact that their hard-sell sales pitches and the techniques they employ from the Dummies Guide to Networking, such as repeating people’s names every second sentence, are the best way possible of ensuring nobody would ever want to work with them.

Once these Eager Young Things (EYTs) manage to hijack an affiliate the Relationship Building commences:

EYT: “Hi, Andy it’s a pleasure to meet you” (smiles as she picks up affiliate’s name from badge)

Affiliate Andrew: “Hi, it’s a pleasure to meet you too.”

EYT: “What kind of websites do you run Andy?”

Affiliate Andrew: “Oh, I have websites and do PPC devoted to travel. That’s my area of expertise. Actually, I was just on my way to the loo…”

EYT: “That’s wonderful Andy! Our agency represents a retailer selling dog accessories called ukdogshop.co.uk. It is an absolutely incredible website with an exciting product line including dog leads, mats, toys, coats and bowls. Having experienced a rate of growth of 24.6% since launching last year, you’d be stupid not to add our banners to your homepage. We offer an amazing 5% commission and I’d like to see the links to us going up ASAP!” (bats eyelids and caresses the affiliate’s shoulder)

Affiliate Andrew: “Errr… OK”

EYT: “What are your websites called?”

Affiliate Andrew: “OnlyPortugeseTravel.com and others”

EYT (scribbling down the domain name): “Here’s my business card Andy. Put up the banners to ukdogshop.co.uk tonight on all your websites and… errr… we’ll make your future!” (self-satisfied grin for remembering catchphrase)

It was tough to win at DTSSR this year because 144 affiliates were up against 185 merchants, 61 agency staff and 88 network staff. The winner was a gentleman who confessed at 1am to having managed to get through the day with only one business card. Other affiliates, some of whose pockets were bulging with unwanted cards, raised a toast to him as he explained he’d probably developed his skills at dodging the overly-enthusiastic networkerers while wasting a whole spring and summer in the mid-1980s playing Frogger on his Commodore 64.


Of course, alongside the eating, drinking and conversations about how people wished global warming would speed up so they could enjoy more Septembers basking in sunshine, there was a great deal of welcome networking was done and business discussed, but in the dispassionate manner which is unique to British affiliate marketing. The industry has more unwritten etiquette than at an Edwardian dinner party. If for, instance, you’d like to find out an affiliate’s URL, you require the patience of Job because you have to hobnob with them for at least five years before daring to mumble the question.

One of the most respected New Media agencies in the UK, and certainly one which does understand accepted modi operandi, is Glasgow-based Equator. The three Don't feint ladies over these four hunks: JJ from PrimeQ, Pete and Nic from Affiliate Future and Stephen from ipoints representatives from the company, Robbie Parish, Kerry Kasim and Fiona McPherson, said that they had thoroughly enjoyed coming down from Scotland: “I have had a blast of a day,” exclaimed Kerry. “It was great to meet friends, chat to current and new affiliates and foster relationships”. Robbie said poetically, “The networking was good, the women were better, but the best thing was the beer”.

The Dixie Queen chugged up and down the Thames at a blazing pace, going as far as the Millennium Dome and then returning to Tower Bridge a number of times as people chatted, flirted, moaned (despite not being stuck in front of their computers, it was not a day on which affiliates would change their personalities) and muzzled a delightful finger buffet while making the most of the free bar.

The day seemed to end quickly when the boat docked at Butler’s Wharf and everybody was politely shepherded off her by the smartly-attired staff. Anna McFadyen from PrimeQ was disappointed at having to disembark at five o’clock and said, “I wish it had lasted longer. Instead of having the gathering at another venue next year, we should be on the Dixie Queen again!”

Half the people retired to a bar in the Tower hotel just by St Katharine's Dock. The partying carried on long into the night and more than one person, as they left the bar, commented on it being the best meet-up ever. It not until after 2am that the last person staggered home.

Where next? Here are some links for you to check out now...Recommended Links: the best guide we have come across to affiliate marketing is High Performance Affiliate Marketing. For the price of one meal in a restaurant, you will be provided with all the knowledge required to make serious money online. Not only will you receive an ebook written by one of Commission Junction's top affiliates, a guy who made over $1,000,000 last year, but you will gain acess to an exclusive members area with the most up to date and practical information available.





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